Hey, just a reminder that my new blog is WarmAndWellFed.com, although I will leave this site up for awhile in case anyone wants to read the old posts. Some of the “best” of this site will be transferred over to the new blog. Thanks for reading and please update your links!

So, here’s the long version:

Right after we knew we were going to leave our staff positions at Suncrest, Patti and I started following leads for other ministry opportunities. Fairly soon I found a posting online for a worship/arts pastorate in San Francisco, in a new church… the kind of role that is traditionally right up my alley. I sent my information their way, and the lead pastor and I talked a bit here and there in the busy Easter season.

Making sure a church is the right fit is very important to me, so I prayed, had people pray for me, sought council from folks in the Bay Area, and most of all tried to follow Patti’s lead about how she felt about it all.  Long story short, we thought we did our research. The church offered us the job (before ever meeting us in person), but we went out to visit anyway to be sure. Again, everything seemed like green lights, so at the end of that weekend we agreed to come on board and I took the job. We came home, hurriedly made arrangements and packed, and made the 4-day drive out there with our car, truck, trailer, baby, three bunnies, and my dad (who, thankfully, helped us move out there).

Then… the first day came, and I knew… I knew before lunch time… that I had made a huge mistake. Myself and the lead pastor were simply not a good fit, personality-wise. We didn’t disagree or have it out or anything; I just knew that it was not going to be a long term match-up, and was spotting warning signs I didn’t see before coming on board.

Now, a couple notes here, because, hey, a lot of people aren’t a perfect fit with their bosses (is it even possible) and they don’t quit! The first is that in a church environment, especially in a newer church, the relationship between the lead/teaching pastor and the worship pastor is key… if it is not a good relationship, the worship experience will never be what it should be. The other note is that, quite frankly, I am very particular about who I work with. It is not that I have high standards but that I just have peculiar standards about what I am looking for in a lead pastor compared to a lot of my friends in ministry. Some types of leadership bring out the best in me while some don’t… it is different for everyone, especially artsy types, and knowing the styles of leadership that I need to avoid has been a huge boon to my life in professional ministry… even though it was a hard, long time before I understood. To say it simply, I knew the leadership styles at this church would not resonate with my passions and convictions.

To break up this big block of text, here’s a pic of my family at the beach, about a five minute walk from where I lived (for a week!):

 So, I was left with some hard decisions… the first was whether to leave the church or stay and stick it out. I LOVED San Francisco, and the church truly was awesome… some very cool folks, especially the artists, who I thought rocked musically and I think we would have connected with very well personally. The church (who I have tried to remove all reference to, as the last thing a person needs in a google search of the church’s name is to read through all my baggage!) is doing some very cool stuff in the city. But on the other hand, if it was not going to be a long-term thing, why build a bunch of relationships just to break them in a few months? (The role had a built-in three month “trial” period to it, and I knew I would be exiting then one way or the other.)

I had to act fast, as the following week I would be co-leading with the previous worship pastor who was transitioning out and I would have been on the radar of the church on the whole at that point, so Sunday afternoon we did lunch with the pastor and let him know we were leaving. Hardest. Conversation. Ever. I know I sprung it on him, and on a Sunday afternoon, too– when pastors are already emotionally spent. It was lame, and I felt bad, but the time frame did not allow many options. I had been on staff one week, never took a salary, and left. The shortest job I have ever had (and I have had some very short jobs!). The pastor, of course, was not happy, but I think he understood, and was gracious to us.

With that done, the next hard decision was “what now?” We were in a very cool city, but also a very expensive one, with no income and a ten month old. It was hard to leave it behind… the ocean, the neighbors we felt we were starting to connect with, the diversity… but the choice was clear, that we needed to be somewhere we could regroup and make sense of things.

So, back to Indiana we went, Patti and Evie by plane and myself and my Dad by car (yes, in a matter of two weeks he moved us across the country twice, making him the saintliest person I have ever known). For now we’re back with family, and I’m looking for a job to pay the bills as we wait for understanding of what is next.

To be totally transparent, I very much feel like we made the right decision (well, not to take the job, but to leave it and come back), but I still wrestle with guilt. I feel bad for the lead pastor, who had anticipated my involvement there. I feel bad for my predecessor in the worship role there, who had invested a lot of time and effort to get me primed for the position. I feel bad for our old friends in California, as we briefly stepped back into their lives and then disappeared again. I feel bad for my family (on both Patti and I’s sides) who made some significant sacrifices to get us there and back. But to wrap all this up, here are a few things I learned:

1. A lack of obstacles does not mean “go”.

We kept looking for things to keep us from going, and didn’t see any, so we thought that meant we should make the move– we should have realized how hard we were looking for excuses not to go, as I don’t think we ever felt that deep conviction that it was the right thing, that that particular church community was right for us. And sometimes, a lack of obstacles just means I’m not looking hard enough.

2. Positive experiences don’t always mean “go.”

Can I be totally honest? I love Northern California–Patti and I still look back at our two year stint there as the best time of our lives. The chance to go back there? Definitely a plus. And being wanted by a church, hired early in my job search? Also a plus. But we let these things charm us into making a decision before we were sure.

3. I need to seriously re-evaluate my role in ministry.

Two years ago, a full-time worship pastorate in San Francisco would have been my dream job, regardless of staff relationships or finances or anything else. But I am looking for something different now, some different aspect to how I work for the Kingdom, that I am not sure can be found in a worship ministry role as I currently understand it. Maybe I am wrong, but there is a distinct conviction growing in my heart–that has been growing for a while–that maybe the best thing I can do to lead people in worship is to put down the guitar and the microphone. I probably shouldn’t mention it, as I am still seeking God’s help in figuring it out, but if nothing else I need to reconcile some things before taking on a worship/arts role again.

So, what all this means for us, and this blog, I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ve over-explained… just wanted to let our friends and family who support us know what happened, and that we’re doing well–tired from the experience, but encouraged and looking forward what God has in store for us next… and we are confident that it is something, very, very good… as always!

1. Exponential Conference 2009 was great… not only did it put a lot of dangerous ideas in my head, it confirmed a lot of the things weighing heavy on my heart about what it means to serve God and live out the Gospel. To be in such a large crowd of church planting leaders is almost intoxicating, knowing that God is going to literally change the world through the people who gathered there. Of course, I also got to experience the killer intro to Francis Chan’s closing session, embedded here for your enjoyment:

2. Evie is good… stays in a sitting position without falling over, rolls over once in a while, teases that she is going to crawl, and continues to be ridiculously cute 24/7. Here’s a pic of her rocking the piano (which is in the key of C#, in case you have kids and want to jam along):

3.  Ministry situation is full of potential… its hard leaving my Suncrest family (this Sunday is my last), but I am very excited about what God has in store for East Campus. For Patti and I, there are some good possibilities on the horizon. In particular, I’ve been offered a worship pastorate that could easily be the next step for us, at a church home that would be the right place to live out what God has been laying on my heart. We should know for sure this time next week, and can give more info then. For now,  I would very much appreciate prayers as we try to come alongside what God has planned for us!

 1. Alan Hirsh, Ed Stetzer and other “Missional” goodness– I am so on board with these guys and their approach to living out the Gospel… I’m in the “Missional Church” track this year and very much looking forward to it.

2. Good friends, good weather– always love to hang with my East Campus co-conspirators… and what better place to do that than beautiful Orlando (seriously, is this Chicago winter ever going to end)?

3. Networking– the conference is perfect timing as Patti and I look towards what is next for us. If you’re part of a new church work and looking for team members, I would love to talk with you–  shoot me an email or give me a call (contact info on my resume) if you want to connect!

One of the things I love about Suncrest is how our artists look into pop culture to show (and sometimes redefine) what the world around us is saying about various topics.  Here’s a look at my personal top ten popular songs we’ve used in our worship gatherings (links are to iTunes, in case you want to download one of these beauties):

10. Help From My Friends by the Beatles (Joe Cocker version) : We did this one last weekend while discussing the value of wise council in seeking God’s will– but it is on this list because I am obsessed with TV theme songs, and well, this is the theme from The Wonder Years, after all. Also a bonus: no one stood up and walked out on me when I did, indeed, sing it out of tune.

9. The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson : Yes, I am trading in my man card by putting this on the list. But it was a perfect tune for our “iMarriage” series, and we were able to hit it right as it had been made popular by an Old Navy commercial.

8. New Year’s Day by U2 : We are definitely fans of the boys from Dublin at Suncrest, and this is not the only tune of their’s that we’ve used (Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, anyone?), but this song, played in front of a video highlighting the various resolutions that get made (and broken) at new year’s was a great way to launch our “Hooked” series. You’ll be hearing another song from U2 sometime soon, I think… maybe something off the new album…

7. It’s Not My Time by 3 Doors Down: One of many, many creative ideas borrowed from Community Christian Church in Naperville, IL- this tune was a great way to illustrate the determination shown by Nehemiah from, yes, the book of Nehemiah in the Bible.

6. Believe by The Bravery : How does a song like this end up on the radio? (”So give me something to believe/Cause I am living just to breathe/And I need something more/To keep on breathing for”) I have no idea, but it rocks, and we rocked it at Suncrest.

5. My Hero by the Foo Fighters : I would say I am wearing my alt. rock love on my sleeve here, but the response to this tune was phenomenal…  this is one a lot of people resonated with!

4. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by REM : This scores high for a few reasons, among them the fact that I love REM (first CD I ever bought) and this tune was the first time I sang “from up front” at Suncrest. Memorizing all the lyrics was quite an endeavor.

3. Beverly Hills by Weezer : Is there a better (or more fun) song to play on a week when we’re talking about living below our means?

2. Let Go by Frou Frou : As a twenty-something, I have a genetic disposition to love the Garden State soundtrack (and the movie it came from). This tune, made popular by that flick, was a great meditative wrap-up to our “Losing my Religion” series.

And my personal favorite?

1. Typical by Mute Math : the first two pop culture tunes we played at East Campus were “Losing my Religion” by REM and this, and for good reason– they totally captured the spirit, at least for me, of what we are doing with this new campus. An amazing song, fun to play live,  with truth dripping off its lyrics…”Cause I know there’s got to be another level/Somewhere closer to the other side/And I’m feeling like it’s now or never/Can I break the spell of the typical?”

So… any thoughts? Favorites that I’ve missed? Leave a comment and let me know!

Getting to the heart of it… (Continued from Part 1 and Part 2)

So if our trade language is (metaphorically) our consumerism in a broad sense, our heart language will come as no surprise… our heart language is love, in a narrow sense. What will speak the deepest to a culture consumed and consuming is sacrificial love; how appropriate, then, that sacrifice is how God chose to usher his Kingdom into this world? It is the core of our faith– that when God sent his Son, he came not as a king or military leader, but as a man of humble beginnings who would cause spiritual upheaval and, in the end, give his life for ours. And this is what Jesus expected from us, as well: “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

That quote comes from the Gospel of John, chapter 15, in the midst of a conversation Jesus was having about our relationship with God and our relationship with the world around us. But will sacrificial love cut through the noise of everyday life, catch the attention of our friends and family, and encourage them to seek God as we do? The simple answer is, yes. When someone… whether it was me walking into a youth meeting fourteen years ago or someone who you will share a meal with later today… if they see a community,  friends, spouses, etc., truly loving each other sacrificially, they will take notice. Later in the Gospel of John we see this pattern laid out in Jesus’ prayer: “May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.”

The hard part is that this sounds easier than it is. So many things about our culture influence us to speak a shallower and far safer language to each other–certainly inter-personally, let alone on an organizational scale. It is one thing to believe that we love each other; it is another to live out sacrificial love on a day-to-day basis. I don’t think most Christ-followers get it. I am pretty sure I don’t get it. Nonetheless, it is possible, and we have the best possible example to follow.

In my next posts in this series I hope to explore the languages the church uses to communicate, and how all this plays out on a practical level.

Patti and I have recently announced that at the end of April we will be leaving our staff positions at Suncrest (she being the East Campus Children’s Director and I the East Campus Worship/Arts Director… Note that as I write this I will interchange the words “I” and “we” a lot… since Patti is also moving on from her role, and we’ve sought each other’s council on all of this, I might get my pronouns switched around). It was a very hard decision for us, so I wanted to write a (probably not short, but I’ll try to be as brief as possible) post about how we came to the conclusion to move on. After all, we genuinely believe that Suncrest is the best church we’ve ever been a part of, (or, to our knowledge, the most amazing church in the world) and public opinion is that this isn’t the wisest time to be on the hunt for a new job.

Suncrest is an amazing community of faith… these folks really “get it!” It has been a great place for us (and with Evie in the picture now, our family) to grow our relationship with God. Originally, we simply wanted  to attend a church that we had heard good things about, since we were between ministries and were living in the area with Patti’s parents. I was able to join Suncrest as a Leadership Resident under our Cultivate Pastor, Bobby Jackson, and then Patti and I were able to help launch Suncrest’s first multi-site campus with Doug Gamble and the rest of the East Campus staff and launch team. We are so glad we’ve been able to contribute to Suncrest’s ministry in such an exciting time for the church and NW Indiana. Recently, though, we’ve been re-examining our giftedness and our goals for how we want to help bring God’s Kingdom in the world, and realized our roles at Suncrest may no longer be where we can do the most good. Here’s some of our thoughts…

•    I would love to be in full-time ministry again. Working half-time at Suncrest has been fantastic (until Evie was born I was able to put in full-time hours anyway), but financially and for time-effectiveness, I would love to be full-time. There were high expectations that my role would become full-time in 2009, but with the present state of the economy and some other high-priority staff positions that need to be filled, it is definitely not in the books for the foreseeable future. Not the biggest reason for our decision, but it definitely factors in.

•    I am praying for a role with greater influence and decision-making ability. A campus-level role is more about reproducing what already exists (which in Suncrest’s case is a very good thing!), but I’m really “built” for new things… I’ve been biased by my many years in church planting! My heart is to do a new thing to bring the Kingdom to people who need it… I’d like to continue on the path towards leading a new church work sometime in the future.

•    I would love to be in a role where I can contribute a larger spectrum of my giftedness/passions. In my previous ministry experience I’ve been able to head up areas (in our 4-C lingo) like Care, Cultivate, and Connect, and preach/teach on a fairly regular basis. Of course, Suncrest has team members who already specialize in these areas and do an excellent job of it—so these are areas I am simply not needed! A role where I could be stretched and challenged into areas in addition to the arts would be a good fit.

•    There are certain areas of the country some consider to be the “front lines” of the Kingdom—would love to work there. When I read articles like this one about the Pacific Northwest or the East Coast, or hear about the needs in urban areas, my heart absolutely breaks. There are many people right here in the Southeast Chicago Suburbs that need to hear the good news, but Patti and I know that there are certain areas where we have worked (Northern California, as an example) that really brought out the best in us.

•    I would love to be in a role where I can use what I’ve learned at Suncrest. And I don’t just mean from our leaders like Greg or Doug… just being part of a growing, thriving community like Suncrest has taught us so much, and fueled our passion to change people’s lives. We now know what it is to have a truly shared vision and to work in a large staff structure. Learning from Bobby Jackson has been amazing (of course, he is a fellow CCU alumni, so should I have expected anything less?). I know I am a stronger leader… I am a better person because of Suncrest, and I want to share that with a church community that needs it!

Of course, the hardest part of any transition like this is having to say goodbye to all our great friends. Thank goodness for social networking! Seriously, though, we will miss all of our friends here at Suncrest, especially our fellow worshippers at East Campus… you all are consistent, committed, and genuine, and it has been an honor to worship God alongside you, and create a new campus here in Hobart. Thank you for letting us be part of that experience! Ah, this post has grown ginormously long… if you’ve stayed with me throughout, thanks! Don’t hesitate to call me (219.688.2540) or shoot me an email (Kevin.Richardson AT Suncrest.org) if you have any questions!

-Kev

Part 2: Our Trade Language (continued from the first post in this series).

So, what is America’s trade language? Ironically (or appropriately), it is trade itself; our trade language is consumerism.

Now, in this case I mean consumerism with a wide definition. We are a people trained to “buy,” from the commercialism of Saturday morning cartoons to credit card companies poaching students at college campuses. We have the ‘need for more’ deeply branded (so to speak) onto our hearts, which undeniably has created a culture of debt and led to our current pervasive economic troubles. There was such a surprise at the downturn in the markets—but could the path we were on have led anywhere else?

So it is only natural that consumerism would become our trade language and work its way into the subtleties of life. We are (and I am speaking from personal experience here) a people that is addicted to entertainment, who have become inappreciative and impatient in an era of instant gratification. We have replaced the conversation about the relational and spiritual with sports, politics, and movies. Each of us have become a brand, and we communicate our image through our Facebook pages and (ahem) blogs. Americans spend so much time receiving we’ve forgotten how to give. I don’t mean this as a condemnation—in many ways we are truly blessed to live in the age and country that we do. But we are also a nation who are overwhelmingly distracted by our excess.  For most organizations to thrive—businesses, schools, even hospitals—they must speak a language heard through that excess… a language of competition and advertising which ultimately shares a singular message: “It’s all about you.”

But what about the church as an organization steeped in consumer culture? How do we help usher in God’s kingdom where we encounter few humble fisherman and many “rich young rulers?” Is there a deeper language, and how do we become fluent in that… and does trade language still hold value when you can speak to the heart? More on this soon…